Deciding

I don't have a lot to say reflecting on the last year. There are changes I've made that've happened quietly and slowly and some I've jumped up and down excitedly about all over the internet and in real life. There are places where I've fallen off the wagon, places I need to get back on, places I don't, and places I need to jump on for the first time ever. I'm writing (with a pen) my own logical anlysis of what I like in my life RIGHT NOW and what I don't. I'm prioritizing and rearranging. It's a lot of lists, it's not a very exciting read for other people.

I've been catsitting since Friday. First for my coworker and now for my family. It's nice. It's quiet. My roommates are quiet but there's a different stillness to living alone. It matches my brain right now. It's quiet. There are no words or flavors rolling around, trying to force their way out. It makes it easier to focus on this task of making lists. Of deciding what I want my first year of my late twenties to look like.

Twenty seven sounds like a real adult age. I know, I know, I'm still young. But every year I feel more certain of who I am, more settled into myself, more sure of what I want and more decided that I'm too fucking old to not act in accordance with those things.

It's disturbingly easy to not do that.

So, that's where I am. Sitting quietly with cats and actual pen and paper. Deciding.