Once said, words make a world of their own, I misread

So, Mark called and told me he didn't think things were working out yesterday. I both simultaneously saw it coming and didn't at all. As far as I know, our last date went well, but then he barely contacted me for the next week and a half, so I started to prepare. That's how I do. It might've been nothing, but I'm kind of a pro at putting a wall around my emotions, so I did. He gave me the usual spiel "I just don't think things are working out, I think you're great and I hope we can still be friends". I just said "ok, I'm sure we still can be". Y'know, acting like it was no big deal. "Ok, well I'm sure I'll talk to you soon". I didn't really think about it, I mean I do live with the guy's best friend, I figured I'd be seeing him relatively soon.

Michelle asked me what happened and I said I didn't really know.

"You know he's coming over to hang out tonight, right?"

Umm, no. Did not know that. If you tell someone it's not working out and you're coming over to their house the next day, you should maybe just let them know. It just seems like the kind thing to do. And yeah, I've been acting like it's no big deal and logically I know we've only been on three dates. Nothing ventured, nothing gained... blah blah blah. Yes, part of me is relieved that I don't have to make a long distance relationship work, but part of me (most of me) is like, man, that really fucking sucks.

I really like him. Liked him. Whatever. I guess I'm supposed to use "liked" now. I wasn't even looking to date or be in any sort of relationship. I swore I would never do long distance again, but I was into him enough to ignore all of that.

I went on a date last night (for another post), and no, it doesn't really make sense that I had already scheduled a date when I knew how much I liked Mark and he hadn't called things off yet, but I'm usually fantastic at making the mistake of putting all my eggs in one basket and I thought maybe I should try not doing that.

Turns out, rejection still hurts even when you're prepared for it.