Still a day behind


Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of my career. I can no longer say I'm a pastry chef or a chocolatier. Instead I say things like "I'm a social work student" or "I work with teens in rehab". I usually say the working bit since I'm there 45-50 hours a week which is much more than the time taken by my nine units of school. I no longer get the responses of "Oh, that must just be so fun" or "I couldn't do that, I'd eat everything!" which is both awesome because that used to annoy the hell out of me and not awesome because now I just get people looking at me like I'm crazy. Tell people you work with teens in rehab and they give you this look like you must've only taken the job because it's all you could get in the economy or because you needed your head examined. Or there's the people that try to be sympathetic about how hard it must be. But nobody's jealous, there's not a whole lot of prestige in working graveyards doing the laundry of juvenile delinquents.

In two weeks I get to change my line to "I'm a counselor for kids whose foster parents weren't equipped to deal with their emotional difficulties," which sounds slightly more "prestigious" but will still probably not garner much jealousy, which is totally fine with me because I'll be sleeping at night time and less likely to bite peoples' heads off.

I changed careers to do what I needed to do to feel like I was living a life in line with my personal values. I was a little terrified of leaving pastry chef Alana behind, it had become almost the entirety of my identity and I didn't know if I'd be good at a completely new job but it's been totally worth it.

My job is hard, it makes me cry and I love it. I will always have the skills of a pastry chef, but it no longer has to define me.