I am tired and my nose has been bleeding for like a week because of allergies or nasal spray or both and I hope they don't think it's because I do coke at my new job even though I already peed in a cup

You might've figured out that my blog and tweets are now protected. I'm not super stoked about this plan, it'll make it pretty hard to grow my readership to a number larger than 5, ok, fine I think 25-30, which is basically like 5 in the world of internet numbers. Yes, the internet has a different numbering system, duh.

Anyways, the reason for this is that I now work in a group home for teenage girls on probation and in rehab and is not to protect the girls because obviously I signed all sorts of confidentiality paperwork and can't write about them in any sort of specifics anyways, but to protect me from the girls knowing about any of my personal life.This might sound somewhat harsh, but let's face it, even teenagers that aren't dealing with being away from their home, addiction and the problems that may've lead them to be users can be pretty good at manipulation and insults if they know your buttons. I'm told that most of these girls are pros. So it's strongly suggested that we keep our private life pretty private and our internet presence pretty protected because when they have home passes and such they'll google us to get information we might not willingly give.

All that being said, which sounds pretty intense, my first day was pretty low key. This week I'm working mids (3pm-12am) so that I have some idea of the girl's daytime schedule and have an opportunity to actually meet them and learn their name and all that good stuff that would be difficult with my normal graveyard shifts. A lot of the day was just spent on going over my orientation checklist which was basically just an overview of procedures that won't really make any sense until I actually have to do them. There's another woman about my age whose first day was yesterday and who'll be working the same shifts as me so that's kind of nice and makes it feel a little less daunting and awkward at times.

This is obviously, a HUGE fucking change for me. I've pretty much never had a paying job outside of foodservice. I did a lot leadership/community building/mentoring and teaching sort of stuff when I was in high school and right after but it's been a longtime. It's funny, because at one point in time my identity was all tied up in community service and political activism and when I became a baker I transferred that into the way that I eat and the food that I buy but it really wasn't the same. A lot of that part of me got pushed to the wayside and while I find it oddly terrifying to not be able to say "I'm a pastry chef" anymore, I really feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm really really excited to take this challenge on. I'm not delusional enough to think this will have more rewarding moments than frustrating, stressfull moments and I am aware I've only worked one day, but I think I can rock this. So when you see me as I'm adjusting to this and I'm totally exhausted and cranky and want to cut a bitch, I promise a) I still love you (I'm assuming if you read this and are going to see me IRL I love you, even if I haven't met you yet, because otherwise I wouldn't make time for my exhausted self see you IRL) b) I am doing what I want even if you think it sounds like the worst job ever and c) you should buy me either some whiskey and soda or a bloody mary depending on the time of day (but please not with well liquor, especially the whiskey). I mean, what? I didn't say that last bit. Aliens.