"So I was texting him at work about how I didn't have a working mixer and my boss was stupid and didn't remember to bring me his and he offered to bring me one AND, that means he went from his work in Sebastopol to his house in Santa Rosa and then drove back to Sebastopol and we'd only hung out once before that and it was pretty much the sweetest thing ever!"
"Awww, he brought you a mixer? So basically he's your dream guy"
“So, we could go out to dinner, like people do, or I know you’re tired and I have a lot of movies and a couch and a grocery store across the street from my house. Also, my house is where I keep the snuggles.”
“So are we like facebook official? Do I get to change it to “in a relationship” and stuff?”
Momentary panic. This is the third time we’ve hung out. I have a resolution to take things slow, but I like him. A lot.
“I don’t know, shouldn’t we at least wait and see if we don’t hate each other after a week?”
“I already know I won’t hate you after a week. Besides, it can always be undone.”
“ I know, but I would feel so silly. Alana was in a relationship for two weeks. Like middle school dating. I don’t know”
“Well, like I said the other night, I’m completely sold on this, so you just let me know when you feel comfortable with the whole Facebook thing, ok?”
And at that moment I was completely sold on being Facebook official and all the kinds of official that implied.
“You’re in a what?”
“On Facebook, it says, you’re in a WHAT?”
“Oh, I’m in a relationship”
“Didn’t you just meet him like 5 minutes ago?”
“Uh, yeah, kind of”
“How’s the sex?”
“I don’t know”
“What do you mean, you don’t know”
“I mean I haven’t slept with him yet”
“You’re all Facebook official with somebody you haven’t slept with?!”
“Well I’ve spent a couple of nights at his house, so I’ve slept with him in the literal sense”
“So you’ve slept with him but you haven’t slept with him”
“I don’t know. It just hasn’t happened… plus I only met him like five minutes ago”
“Most of the people I’ve slept with I had known for less time”
“Umm. I don’t know, I’m old fashioned like that? Deciding I want to be in a relationship with somebody before I sleep with them and all? It’s not like I’m playing hard to get- I’ve been naked in his bed, I just haven’t slept with him yet.”
“What if the sex is terrible?”
“I like the making out quite a bit, so it seems unlikely”
Ms. Mae just raises an eyebrow at me.
“Whatever, he’s an awesome guy, I like spending time with him. So what if it turns out to be? Bad sex can be fixed, not liking each other’s company outside of the bedroom can’t.”
“Fine, whatever, I’ll stop being ridiculously judgmental now.”