I went over to get my stuff, he offered me a glass of wine, some of my other friends were there,I didn't want to seem like a bitch... one glass of wine was followed by a glass of whiskey and then another bottle of wine being opened and he was smiling me in that "I think you're adorable and sweet and witty" sort of way and I was trying really hard not to make eye contact. Then the wine kept getting poured into my glass instead of Ms. Mae's (don't ask me why some people get their real names and others don't, it's not like they wouldn't be able to figure out who they were if they stumbled on this blog...) with the excuse that she had to drive home which didn't make sense because I had to drive home also and once again, there I was, part of me watching from the outside, saying "Alana, really!? Get the hell out of here while you still can," but it was too late.
Talking about Ms. Mae's love life and the boy kept comparing it to our's and saying "I don't know why she still puts up with me" and Ms. Mae kept looking at both of us sternly and saying "but you two are just friends now, RIGHT?".
I'm in the kitchen and I hear "Mujer! What that movie where [insert what should be an incomprehensible movie description to anyone who doesn't spend too much time with you]?". I just shout back "I'm pretty sure you can't call me that anymore". (And you're thinking "really, you let him call you 'woman'? You, who ranted at him for calling you darling on your first date?" The answer is yes, I do, because I guess it's how his father always addressed his mother so it's oddly sweet. Also kind of terrifying/weird.)
Somehow I've decided it's time to stick my phone in the ipod charger, it's midnight and the boy and Ms. Mae are dancing dramatically to some horrible sappy country song and grab me to join them. Ms. Mae gets a phone call and leaves for another room and it's just me and the boy and I've somehow ended up backed against the counter and am kissing him.
"This is a bad idea"
"Yeah, but you're just so damn cute"
Ms. Mae throws her arms in the air, "I have no power to stop this, I'm going home. I tried, remember I tried!"
And then we're in bed and he's crying. Really, crying! WTF?
"I know we're about to do the whole sex thing [obviously somebody is picking up phrases from me] and this is kind of weird of me, I'm sorry"
"No, it's fine"
"It's just I really don't want to lose you. Is that weird?"
"No, of course not, you won't lose me, I'll always be here for you"
subtext: uh, well, easy solution, stop acting like a jerk and stop dumping me, asshat.
He tries to convince me not to go to girls night the next night, to go on a date instead. He tells me I'm wonderful. He asks how I can be so hot and so intelligent and tells me its not fair, that he just can't say no to me. When I tell him I've never asked much of him he says he knows, that's part of it. He takes me to brunch in the morning, we spend the day in bed until he has to leave for work. Life is momentarily good.
Later that week he meets Ms. Mae and I at the local pub. Ms. Mae and I have just had a discussion about how the boy and I are not dating again. We're still just friends who happen to be sleeping together. Right before the boy walks in Ms. Mae says "I'm pretty sure you've been in a relationship for the last nine months and he's the only one that doesn't know it" and the boy and I proceed to be more couple-y than ever.
"Oh my god, Bach is such a ridiculous pansy"
"Yeah, I accidentally knocked a pillow of the couch the other day..."
"and he jumped up so quickly..."
"but he couldn't get traction on the wood floor so he started sliding..."
"finally he managed to run under the table"
"and now he won't go near that side of the couch"
"it was a-DOR-able"
Also during this conversation of constantly finishing each other's sentences the boy refers to his house as "our house"- how weird is that?
He gets up and kisses me goodbye.
"Seriously, he just kissed you in public. How are you not dating? You two are a couple. Also, am I not the best third wheel ever?"
In the following weeks I watch the meteor shower curled up, my head on his shoulder, he cooks me dinner, our friends try to convince me to be careful, tell me this absolutely has to be the last chance I give him. The same friends who used to tell me they were glad he had me to talk to, to be weak in front of. I still regret sleeping with him after he came back from Europe but I don't regret this, even after he tells me he still wants to sleep with other people. I try to get up the nerve to call just my type boy because whatever other feelings I may or may not have, I miss spending time with him. I hear he's gone on a date, started seeing someone, nobody can get a hold of him, so I don't try.
The Sunday before Thanksgiving the boy and I go on a damn near perfect date. He takes me down to Berkeley, to the restaurant at which we had our first date. And we're that couple. You know the one. The couple you see walking down the street, smiling at each other, laughing, arms around the waist, pausing every few steps to kiss. Then in the restaurant we're seated at a table with little armchairs right next to each other, knees touching. Giggling, whispering sweet nothings, holding hands.
"We have to stop this, we're being disgusting, I would judge us"
"Just one more kiss"
I give him a peck on the lips.
"Maybe one more..."
Yeah, really, we're being that ridiculous.
Remember, we're not a couple, we're not dating.
"If we ever get married I think I'll have to bring you here to propose"
And momentarily, I'm shocked back into bitterness thinking "Really? You won't call me your girlfriend but you're bringing up marriage?" but it melts away and a moment later I'm back to being deliriously happy. We stop by a friends house for a bit then head back to his room in Berkeley. Everything about it reminds me of the beginning of our relationship and we're feeding off each others' smiles and laughter and giddiness.
The night is perfect.
Brunch and picking up potato puffs for the drive home because I've been talking about missing them for weeks now.
A long kiss back at the ranch before we each hop in our cars and head off to work.