A week and a half in conversations.
And yes, I know you're going to judge me. It turns out I'm pretty weak. Judge away.
"Oh god, I'm exhausted. I'm so jet lagged"
"Why'd you have me come over tonight? And why are you feeding me then?" I tease.
He looks at the ground bashfully, "I just kind of missed having you around".
We're lying in bed, my head is on his chest.
"This sure isn't how I thought this night would end."
"Me neither, I mean I hoped... I... I've been thinking about this for the last month."
"Funny, I've been trying really hard not to think about this."
Walking back to the car, he's just taken me on a date, totally unprompted, he stops, using the arm around my waist to turn me towards him and kisses me. I mean really kisses me. I swoon a little.
"In public?" I tease. We tend to be a fairly strict no more PDA than hand holding or the occasional cuddle if we're watching a movie with friends sort of couple.
He smiles at me and shrugs.
A little while later at the video store, he pulls me towards him and kisses me on the cheek, then looks around and full on kiss me on the mouth.
"Did they replace you with an alien Che while you were in Europe? Why are you being so lovey?"
"I had a dream about you last night. So you're just going to have to put up with me being super sweet and nice to you."
"Oh god, how will I survive?"
"I love my pretty girl" he says.
Totally taken aback, I just look at him, smile, giggle giddily and kiss him.
"What are you thinking?"
"I love you," I say, without thinking, with instant regret, immediately turning my face towards the pillow, afraid of what his response will be.
He starts kissing my cheeks lightly, I look up and there's a tentative smile.
"This is the closest I've come to loving someone since my heart was broken. You make me so so happy. You're the sweetest, most wonderful, most loving person that has ever walked into my life," he whispers, barely audible, looking me in the eyes and stroking my hair.
I look back and say nothing, what do you say to that? It wasn't quite an "I love you, too".
"It's just, aren't you afraid?"
"I mean you were with your boy for seven years"
"Six," I corrected, habitually, he always thinks it's seven for some reason.
"and I was with my girl for four years. How do you love somebody again after that?"
I look at him helplessly and shrug, "I don't know".
I look over and he's smiling, a huge goofy grin.
"I was just thinking of children. The argument over C and S-G."
"You know I have no intention of keeping my hyphenated last name if I get married, it's a pain in the ass."
"Yeah, until you have a girl, and then it becomes a feminist issue and you'll be arguing away for Sullivan," he teases.
"But it would be Glick, 'cause I'm the only great-grandchild"
"But Glick is such a funny name..."
We look at each other and smile sappily.
"Che just told me the cutest thing while we were over at the bar."
"He told me he was supposed to get married last year.
I said, "oh that's kind of sad" and he looked at me and said, "yeah, but I got Alana out of it".
I'm standing across the group from him. He's pulled a chair into the kitchen to sit in. He gestures with his head for me to come stand over next to him. He puts his arm around me, gestures for me to kiss him.
"Let's be disgustingly cute," I say teasingly, rubbing his shoulders.
"Let's. 'Cause I just might be falling in love with you," so quietly no one else can hear.
"Good morning beautiful girl. Beautiful girl that I love."